I Just . . .

It’s been . . . a rough couple of weeks.

And no where near as rough as some of my people are going through.

It started before Christmas, I think. And then it just carried through. Christmas was – naturally – crazy around here. A dear friend got sick(er) & passed away. That was hard. Her kids are around the same ages as mine & I just . . . Well, let’s just say there was one day I sat on my kitchen floor hugging the boys so tightly they asked if I was done yet. [“Because you’re hurting us, Mommy.”]

I’m battling posting what I really want to here.

Because this place is out there. Like, out in public. With the knowledge that people I actually know can & do read it. People who know me, not just the me they see through their computer screens. People who have the ability to build me up & break me down just as quickly with a word or an action or a misunderstanding.

Way back when I started this blog, before Butter was born, I had these grand designs that I was going to be this amazing Mommy Blogger. I am so not a Mommy Blogger. I don’t even think I can take the title of Blogger seriously most days/weeks/months/years. There was that brief time when I posted for a year straight  & that was awesome, but I don’t necessarily know if that’s where I am these days.

Because it’s not just Mom Life I want to talk about. It’s faith life & married life & friend life. Several of those things I feel are severely lacking in my world right now.

All of that being said, I’m working on my second round of the 21 Day Fix. In the first round, I lost right around four pounds & six+ inches. I feel like I’m not doing any better this round, but M says I look better & I have added a few challenges in, so maybe I’ll see a bigger change? The only thing I really notice lately is that my clothes are fitting differently. Most notably, I could probably use a belt now. And it’s possible my favorite go-to yoga pants fell down when I was doing burpees yesterday. Possible. Probable, if we’re being honest.

I’m on track with my reading goal for the year [65 again]. I’m planning a trip to Washington, D.C. with just Butter in April. I’m work, work, working away. I’m just . . . not focused? Yeah. I’m lacking serious focus.

What do you do to help you focus?

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