A year ago today, I did maybe the hardest thing ever.
I drove away from Delaware, & from my babies, to start a new journey.
You see, M & I agreed in October of 2017 that we should separate. Part of that separation was me moving to Virginia.
I know, right? That’s a LONG way from my kiddos. [Roughly 4.5 hours, for those of you playing at home.]
It’s not easy. Not at all. I go back to Delaware for about a week once a month. I have a place to stay [with M & the boys] & I have the opportunity to work [both at the restaurant I’ve been working at for nearly 5 years & for M, whenever he needs help].
So. In a year. I have been separated. I have driven one car basically into the ground. The boys were here for summer break & again for the Thanksgiving holiday [they get the entire week off]. This summer, I took a new position at work which has been simultaneously chaotic & enriching. I started dating.
I’ve grown as a human being. I’ve grown as a mom. I have done a lot of self searching.
I can’t lie & say this has been a walk in the park. I’ve already said more than once it isn’t easy. I miss the kids constantly. I cry more than a human ever should. I have learned to appreciate the time I have with the babies more than I would have if I’d stayed in Delaware.
That being said, I am most definitely moving back. Being away from the boys is way too difficult. I don’t know when it’s going to happen, but I hope this summer. That’s my goal, anyway.
2018 was both an awful year & an amazing year. I got a position at work I’d longed for, for well over a year. I moved out on my own, which I’d never done before. In December, my dad passed away, so 2019 is going to be another year of firsts in a way I didn’t expect so soon.
Please forgive the awkward. I haven’t blogged in a very long time. This year . . . Maybe I’ll do it more. I don’t think I can make any promises though. But thanks for listening to my rant.