I’m Convinced My Children Are Out To Get Me

Butter is running a mild fever and being generally lethargic. Little Bear sat up all by himself yesterday, then promptly tried to pull himself up on the coffee table.

Butter is [kind of] easily fixed with some medicine and rest. Little Bear? Well, I’m pretty sure I considered throwing him out a second story window somewhere around the third time he got me up last night. Judge away. I am that exhausted, and I’ll tell everyone who wants to know all about it.

LB’s issues are totally my mom’s fault. [Sorry, Mom.] She’s up for a visit and as I was changing LB’s diaper last night for bed last night, she asked me if he’d sleep through the night at that point. I swear he must have heard me say, “Yes, in general, he sleeps from about 8 until somewhere between 6 & 6:30,” and thought Ha, Lady. You are IN FOR IT tonight.

The first time he woke up was around 2 AM. I finally gave up trying to “shhh” him back to sleep around 2:30 and took him downstairs for a bottle. It took him 15 minutes to get through 4 ounces, so he wasn’t hungry. I finally gave up around 3 and put him to bed, all the while praying he didn’t wake Butter up.

I had just fallen asleep when LB alerted me that something wasn’t right. I still haven’t figured out what it was. I cuddled him back to sleep, and put him back down. This happened two or three more times. By the time 5 AM rolled around, and after a conversation with my friend Annette [I cannot wait to meet her when her family in the U.S. in December!] about U.S. currency, I begged M to get up with LB, then passed out until my alarm went off at 7:20 and I flailed around convinced it had to be much later than that and I’d totally slept through work.

I asked this on Twitter today, but I’ll ask it again. Is there total truth to the fact that babies will not sleep right before they hit big milestones? If that’s the case, I’m hiring a night nurse. Pay is crap [food and finger paintings, but only when Butter feels like doing them], but I need to not require enough coffee to buzz an elephant to get through the work day. Any volunteers?

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