5QF is on hiatus this week, so it appears as though I have to come up with an actual topic – on my own! :gasp: – for my post today.
I waffled between two things. Whether or not I will make an attempt at BlogHer next year, and this speech by Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter, regarding recent riots in Philadelphia. I hesitate to call them “flash mobs” [as the media in Philadelphia has been calling them] because it’s my understanding that the point of a flash mob is harmless fun.
I decided on the former.
I tend to over think things and will probably go back and forth with this decision a million times, but I’m probably not going to even attempt BlogHer next year, despite the fact that it is in New York City. [And I know from experience last Sunday I can make it there in under two hours. Ahem.] While I’m sure once I got there it would be amazing, I do have valid reasons for thinking I should maybe stay home and read everyone’s tweets about it instead.
Confession time: I am actually terribly shy and reserved when it comes to people I don’t know. Even when I “know” them [which reminds me, I haven’t written about my experiences meeting @PSUrunningmom and @redpenmama], it takes me a bit to open up. So while I would probably feel like I “know” a lot of the bloggers I would probably get to meet at BlogHer, I feel like I would come across rude. It’s okay, I know to some people it seems like my reservations are because I feel superior to them. That’s not the case at all. 99.99% of the time, I’m quiet because I feel like I don’t measure up.
Then there’s the fear of, “What on earth am I going to talk to these people about?” that inevitably hits. Sure, some of us could bond over going through reflux hell with our children. And I know there would be other cloth diapering moms there. I could meet other NICU moms. But a lot of the time, I freeze. I am totally different around people when I know them and they know me. I’m loud and outspoken [perhaps to a default]. While that would come eventually in a BlogHer kind of situation, I’m not certain it would come fast enough to make me feel like I’m not making a total fool of myself.
If you’ve been to BlogHer or are planning to go next year, what are your thoughts and feelings on it?