“You’re My Hero.”

Let me start off by saying this is something I never thought anyone would say to me.

Easter Sunday, as we were heading back home, M shocked me. He reached over the center console of our car, took my hand in his, and told me, “You’re my hero.” [You have to be aware I’m crying as I’m writing this, just as I teared up when he said that.]

It came down to a bunch of, “You’ve been through a lot in the past year or so,” and still . . . I just don’t feel that way. Logically, I know I have been through more than most people. Starting with August 2010, I had a mini stroke, LB was born two weeks early due to high blood pressure and then spent 20 days in the NICU, I had tests to determine the Moyamoya diagnosis at the beginning of 2011, met with a surgeon and a stroke neurologist, had more tests, and finally, two surgeries. [Whoa. Looking at that, that’s a lot of stuff.]

It’s not that I’m trying to blow it off as nothing, because I’m not. I just think that maybe, my husband is kind of crazy for calling me his hero. I didn’t have the surgeries to be a hero. I had them because I have a family [including two children] and many, many friends who care about me and I didn’t want to let them down by being selfish and leaving anything up to chance. I know I’ve said I know God won’t give me more than I can handle but I often wonder why He trusts me so much. In thinking back on all of this, it was nothing short of a test of faith. I won’t say I’ve made it through with flying colors, but man, have I learned being selfish is not an option.

I struggled with the idea of having surgery both times. The first time I was crippled with fear, but I knew I had to leave it up to God and my doctors to take care of me. The second time, I flat out said two days before the surgery that I wasn’t doing it. And then Butter told me, “Mommy, I just want you to be better now.” The honesty of children is a beautiful thing [sometimes]. At that moment, it was, to me, as though he was channeling a higher power and saying, “Don’t be selfish, lady.”

The long and short of this is, I love that my husband considers me his hero. But I certainly don’t feel like one.

 

Comments

  1. This is beautiful and touched my heart! You are so blessed to have him in your life and he you :) Oh…and you are a hero :)

  2. I think you’re underestimating the courage it took you to have those surgeries! I had surgery in January, and it was pretty frightening to me, to be honest. Sounds to me like your husband recognized the difficulty of pushing forward through all your trials and also knows how brave you had to be, and that makes you his hero. And good for him for vocalizing that! A lot of people are quicker to criticize than they are to praise. :)

  3. I think you are a hero. A hero doesn’t have to be Superman with his cape saving the city. A hero is: “A person, typically a man, who is admired for courage or noble qualities.” (so we ignore the man part or we switch to calling you a heroine). Courage is something you’ve got in droves. Noble qualities? Check. Someone your kids can be proud to look up to? CHECK.

    You, my dear, are the most important kind of hero. One who faces everyday life and does the best she can for her family.

  4. You’re an amazing woman, mother, wife and friend who’s had to deal with more in the past couple years than most people do in an entire lifetime. And you’ve done it all with your faith and spirit intact. That is pretty extraordinary indeed.

    Keep on rocking your life and showing us all what courage really is!

  5. What an awesome feeling to have someone walking with you here on this earth who has your back and sees a big S for superhero on it. You are blessed and loved and by sharing this story you have inspired.

  6. Wow, what an amazing path of courage you have walked. And blessed with a supportive loving husband and family. Thank you for sharing your story and with countless others, who will be inspired to be courageous, too.

  7. Wow! I am tearing up reading this…you have been through so much the last few years and the fact you have stayed strong and continue to be an amazing mom and wife makes you my hero!!

  8. gigi says:

    I have to agree with M, you are my hero too. I have learned alot watching you go through all of this. I guess the best way to say it, is to say, you are the same inspiration to me (and countless others), that Sugar has always been to you. I can’t tell you how proud I am of the woman, wife and mother you have become.

  9. The underlying theme I heard in this post is “I don’t deserve to be called a hero. I’m not good enough.” Coming from an outsiders point of view and from the perspective of everything we experience in life is for our growth; I would make the suggestion that you need to take ownership of all that strength, power and courage you have. And YES! I can tell from reading this post (and the fact you had the courage to write and post it) that you are an exceptionally strong and powerful woman. I think with all of the adversity you have been hit with over the past year and a half, God is trying to tell you it’s time to really step into your own power.

  10. How very sweet! You sound like a she-ro to me. We often sell ourselves short. Especially women, and most especially moms. I think the only thing missing for most of us is the cape . . . It’s powerful to recognize that you are great and courageous and deserving of worship. It doesn’t mean you have to be egotistical or self-absorbed. Just give yourself credit for what you do, and enjoy it!

Trackbacks

  1. […] I have two three boys. Butter is 3.5 and Little Bear is just over a year old. I’m married to M, who drives me absolutely insane, then does things like call me his hero. […]

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