You know what I should not do? Go back and read old blog posts about Moyamoya.
After answering a question about a comment I left on another blog the other day, I read through everything with this particular tag. It wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done.
There were things I’d forgotten. There were things that made me sad. [Seeing a reference to Clint in this post, that made me epically sad. We miss you, dude.] There were things that made me laugh. [Who remembers Butter being the little voice of reason when I was doubting having a second surgery?]
In retrospect, I guess it was nice to go back and look at the posts, to remember everything, and to see all the things I have overcome with the help of family and friends this year. It’s so hard to believe I’m quickly coming up on the anniversary of the first surgery. It’s difficult to imagine any other family going through what mine has been through in the last two years.
I’m really ready to look forward, to live without having this hanging over my head. It’s not, really, but sometimes it feels that way. I’ve not run since before my surgeries, which is something I really wanted to start doing. I have a mental block telling me not to bother, that I probably won’t be able to do it anyway. I know that’s something I have to get over, but it’s not been the easiest thing in the world.
Have you ever gone back, read old blog entries, and thought, “Man, I can’t believe I did that?”