Nerves

Tomorrow, M and I will head up to Penn for a lot of blood work, an MRI and an MRA. While I’m hoping these tests will give me a better indication of what’s caused the Moyamoya [specifically, I’m hoping the blood work points to something], I know I won’t have any real answers until the angiogram is done. It hasn’t been scheduled yet, but I know there are some blood work results that need to come back before it can be done.

I have Dr. Messé’s e-mail address added to my contacts so I can e-mail him on Wednesday to see what the tests said. I also have an account on mypennmedicine.org which should hopefully list some of the results. It’s actually pretty neat. I can see what’s been said at past appointments and see when I have appointments in the future. Hypothetically, I can also e-mail my doctors from there.

I’d be lying if I told you I’m not a wreck about these tests. I hate closed MRIs, and I think they’re going to do both tests at the same time. I sent M to the pharmacy this morning with the prescription Dr. Messé gave me for Valium. I’ll pick it up after work. My in laws are keeping the boys tonight so we can get an early start. [I’m required to fast for some of the blood work, and know I should eat before I take Valium, so ideally I’ll sit patiently while the vampires draw my blood then eat something.]

I’m nervous, but I’m also . . . excited? I don’t know if that’s the right word, but like I said before, I’m thrilled to finally get some answers. I want to know what caused this, in the event I wasn’t born this way. I want to have the angiogram done. I want to know if there’s a risk of passing it on to my boys somehow. I want to get the [probably] inevitable surgery scheduled and done. I want to know whether or not I’m going to need to cut my hair, damn it.  I’m ready to get through a week without a headache.

I’m ready for answers, and I think I deserve them.

2 Replies to “Nerves”

  1. All the best, I hope you get answers to all your questions.

    Then you’ll be able to sign up for that marathon, right?

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