I’m Tired

Most days, I take being diagnosed with Moyamoya in stride, but the past few days, I’m just . . . ready for all of this to be over.

I’m tired of headaches. Whether it’s the weather, or allergies, or my kids, or my husband, or the Stuff we’re going through that’s made them worse lately, I’m just tired of my head hurting all the time. In the past few weeks, I can count on one hand the number of days my head hasn’t hurt so badly I’m not sure how I manage to function through the day. I don’t like to take anything for them, so I usually try to sleep through it.

I still have the prescription for pain medication I was sent home with after I had Little Bear. I have a sample pack of migraine medication from my neurologist. I mostly reach for Tylenol. Last week when we were in Wildwood, it was so bad early in the morning I took half of one of the percocets I got Little Bear was born. I refuse to drive after I’ve taken that, so I won’t take it when I know I’ve got the kids alone. I felt a little useless, but it was literally the difference between me being there with my family and being so wrapped up in pain I couldn’t focus on anything. I’ll take a little haze when there are other adults around over wishing my kids would just shut up and give me five minutes of peace any day.

I never thought I’d look forward to brain surgery, but if it means the headaches will stop? Bring it on.

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