I just want you to know, I did not sign up for this.

I did not sign up for a five year old who loves school so much he barely gave me a hug on his first day. I did not sign up for a kid who loves riding the bus more than having his Mommy drive him to school & gets disappointed when the latter happens. I didn’t sign up for a kid who is as bright as this one is. I didn’t sign up for eye rolls & exasperation & the ‘duh, mom!’ tone of voice. I didn’t sign up for a kid who is nearly as big as me already & sometimes ignores me when I call his name because he’s embarrassed. I certainly didn’t sign up to be a soccer mom.

soccer mom

But I did sign up for hugs & ‘I love you, Mommy!’ & snuggles before bedtime & kisses & ‘You’re so silly!’ I signed up for ‘break me’ hugs & noses & eyes & reading all the books ever. I signed up for a boy who loves to learn more than I ever did. I signed up to raise boys into men with the help of my husband.

I signed up for this because I always knew I wanted to be a mommy.


I definitely signed up for that smile & those eyes & that personality.

On Turning Five

First of all, who told my kid he was allowed to grow up & do big kid stuff like lose a tooth or start Kindergarten? I’d very much like to have that person drawn & quartered.

I posted this on my instagram feed yesterday, so I apologize if you’ve already seen it, but man. This kid.

So this happened in the last five years…

We spent yesterday at the children’s museum. We ended up buying a membership, because the boys had so much fun. His Super Hero Squad birthday party is on Saturday. He’s been asking whether it’s time for it since approximately June. All in all, he had a good birthday.

And he discovered today, THANKS TO HIS GIGI [NO REALLY, THANKS MOM] that he has another loose tooth. I’m willing to bet it will fall out before Kindergarten starts.

Happy Birthday, Kiddo.

You drive me crazy for sure, but you are so. stinking. smart. that it’s all in good fun, I think. You ask a bunch of questions & rarely do I have the answers you think I should, but like I said today, “I forgot. You’re five. You know everything.” You’re super excited about Kindergarten. Even though getting you registered has been a special kind of fiasco, it’s been worth it. I’m really grateful to your pre-school teacher for encouraging us to look in to a gifted program for you. And we could not be more proud of you.

You asked for a special breakfast yesterday. Normally, your Pop & I like to have you guys wake up with just us on the morning of your birthday. This year, you weren’t having it. You asked for four things: blueberry pancakes, bacon, apple juice, & your brother. I think it’s safe to say Bear is your very best friend. You were super excited that Pop put a D & a 5 in your pancakes.

Birthday pancakes for the win!

You love Super Hero Squad & other super hero TV shows. You constantly ask us if we can get cable back now, please, but you don’t pout too much when I tell you that’s not in our plans. You love computer time, you love swimming, and you like to be outside. You played soccer & tee ball this year. I don’t think either one of them was your favorite, but seeing you score your first goal & hit a ball thrown to you by your coach? That was a pretty special thing.

Thanks for making me a Mommy. Thank you for being worth every ache & pain I had while you were growing in my tummy. Thank you for being a bright spot in a bunch of dark things that have happened to our family in the past five years. Thank you for being oblivious to most of them. Thank you for your laugh & your smile & your encouragement. I love when you tell me, “You can do it, Mommy!” I don’t love it so much when you ignore me when I ask you not to use potty words.

Most of all, I love you. Keep growing. Keep learning. Keep loving to read & loving to do science experiments.

Happy Birthday.


Dear Mom & Dad,

I’m sorry.

I had no idea back to school shopping was such a royal pain in the butt. [No pun intended. Congrats on being a new Boy Mom, Kate. They're so! much! fun! But pointer number 1? Let someone else do your school shopping. You're welcome.]

[Back to my letter to my parents.]

Really, I’m sorry.

Your Daughter

Butter & I [along with Bear & GrandMom] hit Kohl’s today. The original plan was to look for shoes, but Bear had other ideas, so I figured, hey, let’s look for school clothes while we’re here.

Butter’s new school has a uniform. Black/khaki/navy blue pants & solid color tops with sleeves & collars. Not as stringent as it could be, but not like anything I’ve ever even thought of since that one year school uniforms were the topic for the debate team.


For one, he’s too big for the stuff that “should” fit him. He’s a big kid. He’s about four inches below my shoulder & while that’s no great height or anything, he only turns FIVE on Wednesday. He’s much bigger than he needs to be at this age, thankyouverymuch. Did I ever tell the story about how I was eye level with a seven year old at Disney World? That was a peek into my future, people.

So, being a big kid, he wears big clothes. [Har, har, har.] He’s currently in size 7 pants. CURRENTLY. He has one pair of size 8 shorts that didn’t work out so well this morning. We looked at size 7 shirts & pants today & nope. No way. Not going to work. I’d rather not buy clothes he’s going to out grown within the first two weeks of school, thanks.

We tried on size 8 shirts & he looked like he was drowning in them. The size 8 slim pants just fit, and the size 8 regular pants are too big. And he was cranky the entire time we were trying things on. I miss the days when I could just buy him clothes & know they were going to fit.

So yeah, I’m sorry Mom & Dad. I’m sorry back to school shopping was probably a miserable experience. I APOLOGIZE FOR EVERYTHING. This STINKS. [We will be trying other stores. And I'm not looking forward to it at all.]

In the mean time. These two kill me.


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