There are days when all I long for, all I want in this world, is just a little quiet, please.

Five minutes.

Even five seconds.

And it’s not often that it’s totally quiet around here. The boys are playing, M is talking to me about the truck or other miscellaneous things, a movie is on in the background. Mostly, it’s the boys playing & using the imaginations M feared they wouldn’t have because of the technology pushed on children at such a young age. Still, there are moments when my Mama heart just wants some peace & quiet.

But when I get that quiet? I miss the chaos, I miss the noise associated with having a house full of boys. I know I’m the quietest one in the house, and luckily, my husband understands my need for some solitude from time to time. I’m blessed with a man who gives me time to myself, who lets me sleep in when he knows I’ve had a rough day, who sometimes sends me out for a few hours to enjoy a different kind of chaos & noise. He sends me for pedicures, tells me to go & do what I want to do for an hour or so, & takes the boys when I’ve just had enough.

I’m a lucky girl. I hope I never forget that.

I Can Watch My Brother

It started simply enough.

Last Saturday, we had karate & then some errands. I told the boys what we were doing & they seemed okay with it. But Butter does this thing where he gets into the car & wants to read ALL THE THINGS. I pretend to be annoyed by it, but in reality, I love being Mom to a bookworm. One of the errands we had to run was going to the post office. It’s not too far from the karate school – when I was a little girl, most parents wouldn’t have even bothered to strap their kids into the car, that’s how close they are to each other.

But I’m not that parent. I strapped the boys into the car, explained that they shouldn’t get too comfortable because we’d be there in less than two minutes, and headed to mail a few letters. When I parked & opened the door to get Bear out, Butter said to me, “You can run in & mail your letters. I can watch my brother.”

My heart jumped into my throat. I had just read this article & tried gently to explain to Butter what happened to that mom. I told him that she could have gone to jail, all because her little boy told her he didn’t want to go into the store & she made a split second decision to just run her errand. My child has the most sensitive soul ever & teared up. He didn’t want me to go to jail. I told him I didn’t want to either.

We live in a much different world than when I grew up. I can remember staying in the car while my parents ran errands. I had a book, I had windows down, sometimes I had the radio on. It wasn’t something people thought twice about. Then again, I can remember being allowed to walk down to the corner store when I stayed with my grandma with her neighbor’s daughter to buy cigarettes for her mom, so there’s that.

It bothers me that we live in a world where people live in such fear. I don’t like that I don’t feel comfortable letting my kids run around outside without having at least an ear on them because we live on a road where people regularly speed. AND we’re close to the stop sign that marks the end of said road. That being said, I usually never let them in the front yard because all it takes is one thing. A ball that rolls out into the street, a feather that they’re chasing, a rock they want to kick just a little farther. So they’re generally restricted to the back yard, where they have a play set & a deck with an awning that protects them from the worst of the sun or lets them play outside when it’s raining.

So, yes, Butter, I know you are the best big brother ever & are more than capable of keeping an eye on your brother [especially while you’re out in the back yard], but no, I won’t let you stay in the car. Just like I won’t let you stay home while I run that errand to get yarn.


I’ve noticed something. When Butter talks about people at school, he doesn’t say classmates. He doesn’t say kids. He says friends.

Apparently this is a thing now?

It bugs me, because we had a problem last month where Butter climbed in to bed with us & when we told him to get up & get ready for school, he said he couldn’t. Over & over & over he told us, “I can’t!” The entire situation ended up with him being in trouble because he just. wasn’t. listening. While he got dressed, I sat down on his floor & talked to him.

He didn’t want to go to school because “friends” are laughing at him. When I asked him to name the friends he said he couldn’t, because he didn’t know their names. Both M & I explained to him that if he doesn’t know their names, they’re not friends. As the Paul said in the Bible (glaringly paraphrased, by the way), we don’t need to be a friend to everyone, but we do need to be friendly to everyone.

I get it. The schools need to be P.C. because we live in a litigious society. At what cost, though? My child thinks everyone in his school is a friend, when in the glaring reality of the world that is so not true. Is everyone Butter’s friend? Nope. Should he friendly to everyone anyway? Absolutely.

There are days when I long for what school was like when I was a kid. When we didn’t get in trouble for playing cops & robbers on the playground, when I’d never heard the term cross-cross-applesauce [let’s be real, that one took me a WHILE to figure out], & when not everyone was my friend & that was perfectly freaking okay.