Two weeks?!

It’s so hard for me to believe that my baby boy is already two weeks old. And what a long, strange two weeks it’s been!

I just realized that I’ve never explained what happened with his arrival… So this might be long. I apologize.

On Wednesday, July 23 I had my 39 week doctor’s appointment. My swelling hadn’t gone down, my blood pressure was still up & my doctor was concerned that I was developing pregnancy induced hypertension [not as bad as pre-eclampsia, but not good either]. She asked if I was okay with being induced & although that went against the Hypnobirthing plan that Husband & I originally had, Butter’s health was much more important to us than our plans. We agreed to be induced & even though I had second thoughts as we walked out of the doctor’s office [I even went so far as to tell Husband that I thought I’d made the wrong decision], we were excited & nervous for the arrival of our boy. I would have to arrive at the hospital at 9 p.m. that night to have a foley catheter bulb inserted into my cervix to help ripen it for labor, so we went home, packed up the last bit of the bag, took showers & headed out to my “last meal” at our favorite sushi restaurant, Utage. We had dinner & dessert with my best friend, then headed to the hospital.

After we arrived & got checked in, we waited for a bit to get to our room. Around 11 p.m., I had a foley catheter inserted into my cervix to help dilate me to 3 cm. It fell out around 3:30 a.m. & the entire time I had been feeling crampy & had a few contractions that I could feel. My hypnobirthing breathing worked WONDERS. at 5 a.m., my night nurse checked me & said she thought I was at 5 c.m. & 75% effaced. She started the pitocin drip. Contractions were still incredibly tolerable because of the breathing excercises I was using.

At 7 a.m., my day nurse checked me & said there was no way I was beyond 4 cm & 60% effaced. She upped the pitocin. Doctor came in at 8:30 & said she wanted to break my water. I refused & requested that they let me walk the halls. This was a bit of a struggle, as my doctor didn’t want me out of bed for some reason [which really bothered me, she was very on board with my hypno plan when I talked with her about it at one of my appointments]. Finally got the okay to get up & walk & did so up until 10:30. I was checked again. now I was at 3, but 80% effaced. I agreed to let the nurse practitioner break my water because they thought it would speed things along. I didn’t know it at the time, but they upped the pictocin then as well.

The contractions started to get stronger & I was still able to use my breathing to get through them. I thought this was going to be a breeze. I still haven’t figured out what distracted me from my breathing, but once I came out of it, I couldn’t get back into it. Two hours after my water was broken, I cried & requested an epidural because I just couldn’t take the overwhelming pain anymore. The anethesiologist came in & told me he wanted more blood drawn before he’d do the epi. Two hours later, he was finally back.

I labored for another few hours & the doctor taking over at 7 p.m. came in to check me. She said that I was still at 3 & we had two options. I could labor for another couple of hours at the max dosage of pitocin or we could proceed with the c-section. Husband & I talked about it & decided that with the blood pressure issues [it still wasn’t good throughout everything], the random “progress” I was making & the fact that Butter never came down beyond -2, it was probably best to have the c/s done.

I have no idea what time I was wheeled into the OR, but I started to panic when they raised the drape. I’m clausterphobic & freaked out about how close the drape was to my face. Everything went smoothly once we got in there. The doctor started taking last minute bets on Butter’s size & I was the only one who was right [I said he had to be over 9lbs]. After he was born, crying with all of his might, at 7:55, the doctor showed him to Husband & pointed out to where his head was molding. Instead of on the back of the head where it was supposed it, he was coming down on his left side. Apparently there was no way he could have been born naturally because of the way he was trying to come through the birth canal.

We came home on my due date, July 27. Thought things were going super well, but Friday August 1, things took a different turn. We had gone to the doctor for our second weight check [we have to go once a week until Butter’s back up to his birth weight & let me tell you, that’s been loads of fun] & found out that D had lost 6 ounces from his first weight check that Tuesday. He was also looking a lot more jaundiced, so the nurse sent us to have his blood drawn to check his bilireuben level. Around 7 p.m., we heard from the doctor & found out that a home medical service would be delivering a biliblanket which would allow us to do intensive phototherapy at home. My poor baby was on that blanket until Monday evening with a visiting nurse at the house three times [Saturday-Monday] & had to have his blood drawn from a prick in his heel five days in a row. Let me tell you, Butter’s a trooper. He really only cried when they squeezed his heel to force the blood out & was so patient with the biliblanket.

Since Monday we’ve been trying to breast feed as much as possible. We had another weight check today & found out that we’re at 8lbs, 10.5oz & will be going back again next Friday to check weight again. The nurse told us we can stop supplementing the formula [we were told to start because of the jaundice] after every feeding.

And this is where I get a little angry. We always seem to have problems with breast feeding after a doctor’s appointment. I don’t know what it is about being there, but Butter never seems to want to eat afterward. It’s already enough of a struggle to feed Butter & then to have problems with it after doctor’s appointments? I’m convinced that it’s got something to do with the way the nurses make me feel when we’re there – I always leave either near or in tears because even though they think they’re being supportive, I wind up feeling like a complete failure at being a mother. Last week it was because of the jaundice, today it’s because of his weight. [I’m terrified he’s not getting enough to eat because when the visiting nurse was here on Monday, he weighed 8lbs, 11oz.] I just don’t know what to do. I’m struggling with the idea of either exclusively pumping to get Butter the breast milk I so desperately want him to have & maybe stopping it all together & just giving him formula. I’ve started with a natural herb to help increase my milk supply & I’m trying to pump after each feeding so that I can build up a supply of milk just in case I decide to start just pumping. At least then I’ll know that my baby is getting enough food to sustain him. I think the “hard” part of breast feeding has been that every lactation consultant, nurse & doctor has a different opinion on what I should be doing, how often I should be doing it, blah, blah, blah. I wish we could see just one person with one opinion all the time, but unfortunately we can’t.

I am so grateful for my sweet boy. He’s perfect & just the cutest thing. He loves to snuggle with us & is a champion sleeper [we have to wake him up to feed him]. We are lucky & so blessed to have Butter in our lives.

And if you read this far, you deserve a cookie. Good night. 🙂

2 Replies to “Two weeks?!”

  1. Why don’t you just do what YOU feel comfortable with. A mother’s intuition is powerful, and you have it in bucketloads. You don’t know that you have it because it’s your conscious mind asking that question, not the unconscious which so patiently looks after you the whole time.You’re a wonderful mother with a wonderful baby. Enjoy yourself and him.LoveKatharineKatharine Graves is a hypnobirthing teacher in London

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