I’ve never made it a secret.
I’ve praised friends who can do it.
In fact, I’m awed by people who can do it.
What on earth am talking about?
Staying at home with my children.
You guys, I’m not at all cut out to be a stay at home mom. I just can’t do it.
M and I have talked about this recently, a lot. Because of the brain surgeries, my last day of regulated, scheduled, if I didn’t show up I wouldn’t get paid, work was November 4. That’s more than 14 weeks. Obviously, I haven’t been totally alone with my children for 14 weeks. My mom was here for five of those weeks [three after the first surgery; two after the second]. My in laws have been amazing about keeping the kids when I need a break. M has done his best to give me “days off” when he has a full day off to spend with the kids.
But I realized something yesterday. I had a three hour class for my real estate license. M had gotten up with the kids [because once again, Mama didn’t sleep], so I was able to wake up when I was ready, get a shower, gather the laundry to take downstairs, try my best to catch up on my Bible reading [I’m so far behind], and enjoy a relatively quiet morning with all of my boys. I went to my class, then came home to do some more laundry and work in the kitchen before the kids got back.
I felt like I was a much better Mommy last night than I have been in recent days. The kids played while I heated up dinner. All three of us sat down to dinner together, then the boys got baths, and LB went to bed peacefully. Butter and I hung out and watched some TV, then he went to bed. I folded and put away the laundry I did throughout the day. I got to vacuum the living room per the new cleaning list I’m trying desperately to follow.
Who knew a few hours of adult interaction – or even just time to run errands or clean – would make me a better Mommy?
Honestly? I did. And I’m not ashamed to admit that.