Giving Thanks for the Gifts We Were Given

So where did I leave off yesterday?

I was sent to L&D triage because my doctor’s nurse thought I might have developed a clot in my lung. Turns out that wasn’t the case. Officially, I was diagnosed with fluid in and around my lungs, though they had to do an echocardiogram to rule out problems with my heart [you may remember I had one of those done shortly after the Epic Migraine].

I was admitted, and none too happily. Thankfully, the nurse in triage was sweet enough to take me to see Little Bear before she took me to my room. It’s absolutely terrifying to hear you’re going to be put in a high risk room, by the way. Not fun at all. Turns out I was the only patient there who wasn’t pregnant, and one of the doctors joked that I was her favorite patient that night because I was the healthiest.

Wednesday was a bunch of tests for me, and then around 10 am I got a medication to get rid of my excess fluid. Within a few hours of receiving it, I’d gotten rid of over 4 liters of fluid, so it worked. Really well. So well, in fact, that the doctor canceled his order for a second dose at 6 pm and okay’d me to get the dose the next morning.

Little Bear was finally starting to go the right direction on Wednesday. He wasn’t exactly improving, but he wasn’t getting any worse. M asked whether his compass was pointing in the right direction, and the nurses said yes.

Thursday morning I was given another dose of the meds to help get rid of the fluid. Went to see Little Bear and found that he was off of the oscillating ventilator. They were also turning his oxygen down at a rate of 2% per hour. He was being weaned off of the medications [versed and morphine], and just doing so much better. That night, I was able to hold him again for the first time since the day after he was born. Thanksgiving will always mean something to me beyond a day to hang out with family and eat good food now – it’s the day my baby boy started to make a turn for the better.

Friday I was discharged. Saturday Little Bear came off of the ventilator. Yesterday he started to take feeds [10 mls at a time] via bottle and feeding tube. He’s entirely off of the morphine and versed. M and I both got to hold him last night, and we’re able to pass him back and forth between us. I’m hoping I’llĀ  be able to try to breastfeed soon. I’m optimistic that we’ll be able to bring him home next week, but I’m not going to hold my breath in case there are any set backs.

I know there are a lot of people who have been saying prayers for Little Bear. I cannot thank you enough. I can never mention all of you who I know were behind us so much on twitter, because I’m afraid I’ll forget someone. Thank you to our families, friends, friends of friends, twitter friends, and anyone else who isn’t involved in social media who said even a single prayer for Little Bear. We appreciate it so much.

If you’re finding these posts through twitter or facebook, you’ve seen pictures of Little Bear. For the first time, I’m going to share one on this blog. This was the night he came off of the ventilator [the blue light is from a biliblanket].